


The Redemption Arc of a Fallen Hero

by FangirlOfPower



Series: Sanders Sides Fics [21]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (shocking I know), ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Human, But I will not tell you what it is, Captain Hytril DID tell him to be quiet, Child Abuse, Des is a slave, Des is mute, Don't copy to another site, Figure it out yourself suckers, He has no special title, Hey who wants Creativitwins angst?, I know I do!, I'm going to say that there's something that should hint that something, Logan's a mage, Maybe - Freeform, Mute - Freeform, Mutism, Oops, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Patton's a best friend, Remus died or did he, Role Reversal, Roman is/was a knight, Roman made a Mistake(TM) and paid for it by being put into a magical sleep that Des broke being loud, Roman misses his brother, Slavery is back because of Roman, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Remus, The Dragon Witch is VERY NOT a nice person, The Dragon Witch is not a nice person, The others are dead because it's been TWO HUNDRED YEARS, This is the angstiest fic I've ever written, Virgil's a prince, be warned, disabled, haha you thought, just a little something mind you, that something is off and Roman can tell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2019-12-30 17:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18319796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangirlOfPower/pseuds/FangirlOfPower
Summary: Roman was put to sleep temporarily because of what he has done. He has now been woken by someone who had no idea what this very accurately carved face in the rock was doing there. Can he be a hero again? Can he fix what he has done?Or is Roman doomed to face the reality of what he did for the rest of his life?





	1. Prologue

The three look at Roman. The former knight sneers at them. “Well? Are you going to do it or are you too chicken?” He pulls on the ropes around his arms.  
  
“How dare you talk to him like that!” Patton yells. “He’s your prince!”  
  
“Ah, yes, Prince Virgil. Are you really going to seal your best friend for years in stone?” Roman tips his head sideways. “I thought you were better than that.” Something inside Roman’s eyes changes but the look on his face stays the same.  
  
Virgil’s face is steely. “Do you take blame for what you did? Do you take back what you said?” Virgil says sternly. “If you do not, we will continue.”  
  
“I’d rather die!” Roman yells. His eyes convey a different message. Virgil ignores it. It’s not worth investigating.  
  
“Very well,” Virgil says tightly. He doesn’t want to do this but Roman has given them no choice. “We gave you a chance.” He looks to the guards. “Proceed.”  
  
The guards pull Roman back. “You’ll regret this!” Roman yells. The guards quickly untie Roman then push him into the hole prepared for his magical sleep, sealed in stone. “You’re making a mistake, Virgil!”  
  
Virgil looks down at Roman. The man has an angry look on his face but a very confused and scared look in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” Virgil says. He steps away from the hole. “Seal him.”  
  
“Virgil! Don’t do this!” Roman yells. “Nothing good will come of it!” The stone is pushes over the hole, sealing Roman in darkness. “Virgil! Virgil, Please!” Roman’s voice has changed from anger to fear. “Virgil!” The sealers start to pour the liquid into the cave. “Virgil! Prince Hallows!” The change is a strange shock. “Prince Hallows, don’t do this! Please!” Roman goes silent when Logan snaps and sends him into the magical sleep.  
  
Patton looks at the stone with concern. “Are we really going to leave him in there?” He looks conflicted. “He’s our friend.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Virgil admits. “We might have to.”  
  
A few hours later, they go down to clear the area and make sure Roman is visible and relatively okay. After clearing his face, which was all they were going to do, they see that he looks more like himself than he has for the past three months. But there’s now a look of fear and confusion permanently plastered to his face. “Why does he look so scared?” Patton asks quietly. “I thought he understood we weren’t going to kill him.”  
  
“He did. It’s just reflex.” Virgil doesn’t sound so sure. “It’s fine. He’s fine.”  
  
Logan looks at the other two and sighs. “Come. Let’s not think of this anymore. When he wakes, he’ll hopefully be a good man again.”  
  
“Yeah…” Patton says, looking at Roman with concern. “I hope he does.”


	2. Freed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, but who was freed?
> 
> Was it Roman or was it Des?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guns, a bit of blood, no one dies, mentions of slavery (but that's in the tags), I think that's it

Des scrambles up the rocks, breathing heavily. The full moon shines on above him, covering everything in a pale and unearthly white glow. He slips and cuts his hand on a rock. He hisses in pain and freezes when he hears the dogs barking louder. He continues onward, limping. He looks down at his hand. The cut crosses his entire palm and is dripping blood onto the ground. That’s not good. They’ll be able to follow the scent of his blood. His leg was already cut. Des rips another piece of fabric from his torn shirt and wraps it around his hand. He continues onward, shivering in the cold.  
  
The dogs are getting closer. “There he is! Get him!” Des climbs faster, coughing when he trips and gets a faceful of dirt. He looks behind him to see the people following him. They’re getting closer. He meets the captain’s eyes, the man’s blue eyes blazing with fury. Des turns and keeps running.  
  
He can’t let Captain Hytril catch him. Everything would be over. He wouldn’t be able to be free again. Most of the rest of his life would be in captivity, in addition to the fact that most of his short twelve years was already spent in captivity. Des wants to be free.  
  
Des reaches the top of one of the rocks and sees a cliff. Crap. Maybe he can climb it? He doesn’t think he’s strong enough but it’s the only choice he has. Des drops down the ledge and runs toward the cliff. He sees an entrance to a cave, surrounded with stones that don’t look natural. But he doesn’t have time to question that. He just needs to climb.  
  
A gunshot. Something hits Des in the arm and he gasps in pain. He looks at his arm. It has a hole in it and it’s bleeding. They shot him. Holy crap they actually shot him. Des hears another gunshot and dodges sideways. He trips and slides down the rocks. He stops next to the cave. He sits up, putting a hand on one of the stones around the cave entrance. It lights up, glowing bright orange. It starts a chain reaction, the rest of the stones glowing as well. Des stands up.  
  
Captain Hytril and the other men stop, the dogs whimpering. Des looks at them in fear. “Don’t go in there, boy!” Captain Hytril sounds scared. “You’ll regret it!” Des steps closer. “I’m warning you!” Des stands in front of the cave entrance now. One of them raises his gun and Des ducks into the cave before he gets hit. Captain Hytril swears. “Follow him!”  
  
Des can’t see anything. It’s pitch black. He’s just running, bumping into walls he can’t see. Suddenly there’s a bright flash of orange and there’s a red glowing staff in his hands. Des has no idea what’s going on but he’s grateful. He keeps running, scraping his arms and legs on the rocks but avoiding most of them. He trips on a rock and falls down a small tunnel. The staff clatters across the ground. Des sits up, looking around. He picks up the staff, waving it around to light up the cavern. There are some shining crystals on one side of the cavern. They look pretty but that’s not what Des cares about. He’s looking for a way out. There’s not an exit.  
  
He’s trapped.  
  
Des looks back at the top of the tunnel. He can see flashlights shining around up there. He looks around again. He thinks he could break through the crystals if he tries hard enough. He drops the staff on the ground and pushes crystals away from the wall. Each one glows when he touches it then dims when it hits the ground. He can hear them getting closer. Des picks up the staff and raises it like a baseball bat. Then he swings it into the crystals. The wall shatters, all the pieces glowing like a warm fire. Several of the pieces hit him, cutting him more. He winces but looks where the wall once was. There’s more to the cave system.  
  
Behind him, someone jumps into the room. Des turns to see Captain Hytril. The man walks towards him, anger filling his features. “You don’t know what kind of powers you’re toying with, boy.”  
  
Des sasses the captain with his posture, asking him to tell him what’s so scary. Des looks at the opening at his back, wondering if he could run and make sure Captain Hytril wouldn’t be able to catch him. Des turns and runs down the tunnel. He doesn’t care what’s down there, anything’s better than capture.  
  
“Come back here!” Captain Hytril chases after him, flashlight bobbing in the darkness. Des doesn’t. He keeps running. His legs are getting tired and he just wants to stop. But he can’t. He can’t be trapped again. He wants to go home. He wants to be free. He trips again, the staff skidding across the ground. Captain Hytril grabs him before he can run more. “End of the line,” the man hisses. “You’re coming with me.” Des wriggles in the man’s arms, starting to cry. He doesn’t want to. He wants to be free. The captain puts his hand over Des’s mouth. “Shut up. Shut up. You don’t want to wake him.” Des doesn’t know what that means. Maybe there’s a man-eating monster down here? Des wrenches his way free and takes a few more steps, grabbing the staff again. He can fight off a man-eating monster. It’s more likely to eat Captain Hytril, after all. Des is just a kid and is very skinny and small. Des smacks Captain Hytril in the stomach with the staff and runs. “Boy!”  
  
Des skids down a slope and slams into a wall. The staff flies out of his hands, spiralling behind him. Des looks up and scrambles back when he realizes that there’s a face carved into the rocks. It’s so realistic. Des stands and reaches up to touch it. It’s barely out of reach. Captain Hytril grabs Des, who cries out in pain and surprise. The sound echoes strangely in the small chamber. “Shut up,” Captain Hytril hisses quietly. “Shut up. You’ll wake him. Be quiet.”  
  
Des does not shut up. Des is not quiet. He kicks Captain Hytril away and lands underneath the face carved into the wall. Des cries out, screaming as best as he can. The rocks behind him shake and Des scrambles to his feet. Captain Hytril pulls him away before he can be crushed by the collapsing wall. For the briefest second Des toys with the idea that Captain Hytril might care. It quickly gets scrapped when Captain Hytril shoves him to the side. “You idiot! You woke him!”  
  
There’s a yawn and movement in the new crevice in the cave. Then someone steps out of the shadows. Des gets back to his feet, looking at the person in confusion. Captain Hytril seems scared. The person looks Hispanic, but something is strange about how they’re looking at the two. Captain Hytril pushes Des in front of him. The Hispanic raises an eyebrow, silently demanding what Captain Hytril is doing. “A powerful captive and a powerful escapee,” Captain Hytril says. “A fight to the death.” Des stiffens. He doesn’t want to die.  
  
The Hispanic summons a sword from nowhere. “Are you speaking of yourself?” Anger fills his voice. “Or do you really believe that I’d kill a child?”  
  
Captain Hytril falters. “What?”  
  
“I would not kill a child.”  
  
“But you are a tyr-!”  
  
“No. I am not.” The man’s eyes blaze. “I never was.”  
  
“But you-!”  
  
“When you aren’t in control, things tend to happen.” The man’s sword bursts into flames. “I will not fight a child. I will not kill a child. Now, if I needed to, you on the other hand...”  
  
Captain Hytril grabs Des’s arm and yanks him backwards. Des yelps in surprise. “Come now, don’t be hasty.”  
  
“You say after you try to get me to kill a child?” The man shakes his head. “Nice try, but you aren't getting off so easily.” Captain Hytril does something behind Des and something in Des’s arm snaps. Des lets out a scream and Captain Hytril shoves him aside. The man drops his sword and catches Des. Captain Hytril climbs out of the hole. The man yells, “Get back here!”  
  
The captain looks down at the two. “So long, boy. You deserve this.” He shoves the crystals back over the hole and the man covers Des so he doesn’t get hit. Captain Hytril yells something that the two can’t really hear then something shakes above them. Des remembers that Captain Hytril has always liked explosives.  
  
The ceiling shakes above them and the man grabs his sword, pulling Des alongside him. He throws up a magic shield just before the ceiling collapses onto them. Des whimpers, clutching the man’s shirt. The man looks down at Des, sword glowing in the darkness. “Are you okay?” Des nods. The shield creaks under the weight of the stone and Des looks up at it in fear. “It’s okay, it’s going to hold,” the man assures him. “My name is Roman. What is your name?”  
  
Des takes Roman’s hand and draws his letters on his palm. Maybe everything will be better now. Maybe he will be free.  
  


* * *

  
  
Roman’s eyes fly open and he takes his first breath in who knows how long. “You idiot! You woke him!” The voice is both scared and angry. Roman yawns and stretches. It feels good to move again. He steps out of his resting place. He felt dead, so it’s an accurate comparison. He sees a man standing there. The man shoves someone else in front of him. The other is wearing all black and is almost impossible to see. Roman raises an eyebrow. “A powerful captive and a powerful escapee,” the man says. “A fight to the death.” The second figure stiffens.  
  
Roman looks over the second figure. It takes him about one second to come to the conclusion that this is a child. Roman growls and summons his sword. “Are you speaking of yourself?” Roman asks angrily. “Or do you really believe that I’d kill a child?”  
  
The man falters. “What?”  
  
“I would not kill a child.”  
  
“But you are a tyr-!”  
  
A tyrant. “No. I am not.” Roman glares at him. “I never was.”  
  
“But you-!”  
  
“When you aren’t in control, things tend to happen.” Roman’s sword bursts into flames. “I will not fight a child. I will not kill a child. Now, if I needed to, you on the other hand...” He raises his sword slightly, flames almost blinding in the near darkness.  
  
The man grabs the child’s arm and yanks them backwards. They yelp in surprise. “Come now, don’t be hasty,” the man says.  
  
“You say after you try to get me to kill a child?” Roman scoffs and shakes his head. “Nice try, but you aren't getting off so easily.” The man does something behind the child and there’s a loud snap. The child screams and the man shoves them aside. Roman drops his sword to catch them. The man climbs out. Roman yells, “Get back here!”  
  
The man looks down at the two. “So long, boy. You deserve this.” He shoves something over the hole and Roman covers the child with his body. The man yells something that Roman can’t understand.  
  
The ceiling shakes above them and the Roman grabs his sword, pulling the child alongside him. He throws up a magic shield just before the ceiling collapses. The child whimpers, clutching Roman’s shirt with their unbroken arm. Roman looks down at them. “Are you okay?” They nod. The shield creaks under the weight of the stone and the child looks up at it in fear. “It’s okay, it’s going to hold,” Roman tells them. That’s not entirely true. Roman hasn’t used magic in a long time and doesn’t know how long the shield is going to last. “My name is Roman. What is your name?”  
  
The child takes Roman’s hand and writes something on his palm. Their name. Three letters. D… E… S…  
  
“Des? That’s a nice name.” The shield creaks more and Roman doesn’t blame Des when he flinches. Roman would too if he could. He’s just trying to keep the two of them alive. “Hey, Des, can you do something for me?” Des nods. “Okay. Grab my sword and grab your glow stick then hold onto my shirt very tightly. Can you do that?” Des does so. “Alright. Here’s hoping we don’t get crushed.” Roman scoops one arm around Des and closes his eyes. He snaps with his other hand and the shield disappears. For a second nothing happens and Roman thinks that he just doomed the two of them to be buried in stone. Then they’re up above in the open air.  
  
Roman takes a deep breath of fresh air. Man, he got into all that trouble with that witch to miss this? He missed the sky. The real sky. He’s had enough fake endings to recognize the difference. Wow, the night sky is clearer than he remembers. He looks down and picks Des up. “It’s okay, I’m going to get you out of here.” Roman looks around and carefully climbs down the rocks. He sees the man from earlier and glares down at him. “Who’s that?” Roman asks Des. Des traces some more letters on Roman’s hand. “Hytril, huh? I’m assuming that’s his last name?” Des nods. “Alright. Let’s go deal with him.” Roman quickly gets down the rocks. “Hey, you!” Hytril stiffens. “Did you really think you’d get rid of me that easily?” Roman jumps down and lands on his feet next to him. He shouldn’t have done that, that really hurt. “Nice try, but you’ll have to try harder than that.”  
  
“How did you escape?!” Hytril yells.  
  
Roman sets Des down and puts up a shield around the child. He takes his sword from Des and holds it at his side. Flames flicker up and down the blade. “There’s lots of things you can do with magic,” Roman says nonchalantly. “I’m sure you know that.”  
  
Hytril steps back and Roman steps forward. “Now, be reasonable, Sir Venuste-” Hytril says.  
  
“My title was stripped from me, try again.”  
  
“Venuste-”  
  
“I’m tired of your excuses. Why don’t you tell me why you were chasing Des before I decide what to do with you?” Roman probably won’t kill Hytril, but he’s considering it. The other men killing Roman afterward if he does is what Roman is worried about.  
  
“He escaped after attacking his owner.”  
  
Roman stiffens. “Owner?”  
  
“Yes, owner.” Hytril tips his head. “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? Control?”  
  
“That’s not control, that’s slavery.”  
  
“A setback,” Hytril assures Roman.  
  
“Besides…” The flames on Roman’s sword flare, heating up. “I was the one being controlled. I went to defeat a witch. Prince Hallows warned me not to, but here we are.”  
  
Hytril pauses. “Prince Hallows? I thought you were friends with King Virgil.”  
  
King. Right. Virgil probably became king by now. “I don’t deserve to say his name any longer,” Roman replies. “I made a horrible mistake.”  
  
“In any case, it is your fault-”  
  
“Does it look like I care about that?!” Roman yells.  
  
“Look at the bright side,” Hytril says. “It’s not based on race anymore.”  
  
“How is that a bright side?!” Roman is seething, trying to keep his magic under control. He doesn’t want to start a fire. Fire flickers up and down his bare arms. “I don’t believe there is any bright side to slavery.” He can feel the air around him heating up and forces the surge of magic down. “I’ll give you two minutes to run. If I find you, I won’t hesitate to teach you the lesson you deserve.” He summons a sheath. He swings his sword in a circle and sheathes it in a single smooth movement, flames extinguishing. “Time starts now.” The men look at each other and wisely decide to run. Roman smirks as he watches them crest the hill. Then his knees buckle and he hits the ground. “Ow…”  
  
The shield around Des collapses and the child approaches him, cradling his arm. Roman pushes himself up. “I don’t think I’ll be attacking any men with guns anytime soon…” Roman tells Des. He looks at the child’s arm and takes a deep breath. He gestures for Des to come near him. “Come on, I think I have a bit left. I’m a little out of practice, that’s all.” Either that or the Dragon Witch put a cap on his magic, which is a possibility Roman doesn’t want to think about. Des walks over and sits next to Roman. Roman takes his arm. “This might hurt. I’m not like Patton, I don’t specialize in healing magic.” Des nods. Roman closes his eyes. Yeah, there’s a bit of magic left. His heart hurts a little when he thinks about Patton. He thinks hard about Patton though as he does the magic. Des gasps and Roman opens one eye to see soft yellow flames surrounding his hands and Des’s arm. Despite how tired he is, Roman smiles slightly. Of course it’s fire. After a few seconds, holding the magic steady becomes painful and Roman disperses it. Des lifts his arm and turns it around, flexing his fingers. “Feel better?” Des nods. He hugs Roman, who freezes before hugging him back. How does he do this again? Arms go above Des because he’s smaller, right? Or do his arms go under Des’s because he’s smaller? Roman isn’t sure. He hadn’t been hugged by anyone for about four months before he was sealed and he’s had enough fake endings made by the Dragon Witch to add another year to that. But he doesn’t care right now.  
  
Roman’s being held in his own way and he’s trying not to cry.  
  
Des lets go and Roman almost asks him not to. But he’s an adult and Des is a kid and he’s pretty sure that won’t go over well. Des smiles at him and Roman feels a bit better. He stands up, helping Des up. “Come on, let’s get out of here before they realize I’m not going after them.” The two disappear into the shadowy woods, full moon straight above their heads.


	3. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Roman to start over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman's friends are all dead and he breaks down, the Dragon Witch violated Roman's boundaries

Roman and Des sleep in the woods the rest of the night. Roman fixes the rest of Des’s wounds in the morning. Looking at the kid’s torn up clothing, Roman knows he’s going to have to find him something to wear. Des fusses with his hair, brushing dirt out of his blond curls. Des looks up at Roman and smiles. Roman smiles back. He has to admit, seeing Des in the sunlight was interesting, but in a good way. He looks stunning. He’s black, but his blond hair looks completely natural, as do his green eyes. Vitiligo covers one side of his face, a mesmerizing and almost hypnotic pattern. Roman shakes his head and stands up. “Are you ready for the rest of the day?” Des nods and stands up. Roman looks around. “We have to get you new clothes, you can’t walk around with that.” Des grabs his black beanie and waves it slightly. “Yeah, you can keep your hat. The rest of your clothes are trashed.” Des pouts and folds his arms. Roman takes the beanie and pushes it over his head. Des pushes the brim away from his eyes. “The thing is, I’m not good at conjuring clothes and I’m not going to summon any. That’s stealing. Do you have any money?” Des gives Roman an unimpressed look, silently asking him how he would have any money. Roman laughs a little. “I guess you’re right, it would be silly to assume you had any money.”  
  
Roman takes a deep breath of the fresh air. “Even before we try to get you new clothes, I need a new name. I can’t say my name, who knows how people will react to me? We saw how Hytril acted.” Des nods slightly. He gasps as if realizing something. “What is it?” Roman asks. Des tugs on Roman’s sleeve. “Des, where--?” Des pulls Roman down the hill. “Okay then.”  
  
Des leads Roman to a small clearing in the woods. The dirt is all scuffed up like many people were here. As Des looks into an opening in one of the trees, Roman realizes that is what happened. Des must have been here before Hytril chased him to Roman. Des pulls a satchel out from the tree and shows it to Roman. Roman takes it and looks inside. “Oh wow…” He smiles slightly as he takes a small wallet out. “Don’t have money, huh? Have you been holding out on me?” Des rolls his eyes, a small smile on his face. Roman looks through the bag. He sees some clothes that look like they’ll fit Des. Roman balls them up and throws them at Des, who catches them. “Go change. We’ll still need to get us some more clothes.” Des nods and walks around to the other side of the trees.  
  
Roman sits down and looks at the books he found in the bag. Why did Des have books on him while on the run? Does he like reading? Roman can’t blame him. Roman would have rather read a thousand boring books than be trapped in that stone. “Okay, this is an adventure book. Seems cool.” He sets the book aside. “Some more fiction books. This one looks like something Patton would enjoy.” Roman sets them aside and looks at the last two. The thinnest seems to be a journal. Roman puts in on the stack, letting Des have his privacy. Roman lets the satchel slip to the ground as he looks at the last book. “A history book? Really?” He looks it over and opens it to a random page. “Well, it doesn’t seem to be super boring.” Roman realizes he can see what happened to his friends with this. It’s an urge of morbid curiosity, because he knows none of them can still be alive. He looks at the date at the front, the publication date. Roman covers his mouth. It’s been over two hundred years. He lets the book fall to the ground. His friends have been dead for two hundred years. Roman can’t breathe. His friends are dead. He knew, logically, the return of slavery would mean that his friends are dead. Virgil would never let that happen. Roman stares down at the book, shaking.  
  
Something touches his shoulder and he flinches, instinctively thinking that it’s the Dragon Witch. A small noise of questioning. Roman looks up at Des, the child having his head tipped, a worried expression on his face. Roman puts up a facade, a smile crossing his face. “Sorry, I just… Saw how long it’s been…” The facade cracks slightly. “It’s been a really long time, hasn’t it?” Des frowns slightly. Roman puts the books back in the bag. “It’s fine, I’m fine, don’t worry about--”  
  
Des hugs him from behind quickly and Roman instinctively pushes him away. Nothing good has come from sudden touch in a long time. Des tips his head. “Sorry,” Roman says. “Sorry. I just… Let me know before you hug me again, okay? I don’t… It’s just… None of my recent memories with uninformed touch have been very good.” Uninformed and unwanted. Not that Roman doesn’t want Des to hug him, he really does, but the Dragon Witch has ruined the idea of having Patton give him a sudden bear hug. “Just… It’s okay, you didn’t know, but just don’t do it again, please.” Des nods and holds his arms out. Roman turns and gives Des a hug. “...Thanks.” Roman stands. “Let’s get going. I’ll think up a name for myself while we go.” He starts walking, slinging the satchel over his shoulder.  
  
Des follows him, confused and concerned. What does Roman mean by uninformed touch? Surprise hugs? But surprise hugs are fun, everyone likes surprise hugs. Maybe it’s because Roman’s been trapped in stone for so long, he might not be used to so much touch. But he seemed to like the hug Des gave him last night. Maybe he just doesn’t like being touched from behind? That makes sense, you don’t know who it is if they hug you from behind. Des decides that when they make it to his home, he’s going to have Morgan give Roman all the hugs he needs. They’re good at giving hugs.  
  
Roman shudders slightly. He doesn’t want to think about the Dragon Witch touching him. It was never a good thing if she was touching him. He shakes his head, trying to clear his mind of all thoughts related to her. He’s not sure if she’s still alive or not, dragon halflings and witches can live for an extremely long time but both can be killed. He’s going to place his bets on the idea she’s alive, though. He looks back at Des, the child skipping slightly. Roman tightens his grip on the satchel strap. He’s not letting that monster get inside his head again, not when he has someone to protect. He may not have the title of knight anymore, but he still can follow the honor code he was taught. He faces forward again.  
  
He feels the weight of the books bouncing on his leg and resists the urge to rip the book open and look at his friends. Nothing good will come from it. Roman takes a deep breath. He can handle it. He can handle this. He’s fine.  
  
He can’t. Roman stops and takes the book out of the satchel. Des bumps into him from behind and looks up at him. Roman flips it open to the back, looking for Virgil’s name. He finds it and opens the book to the first mention of his name. A picture of Virgil’s face looks up at him. A sob makes its way through his mouth. He shuts the book with an loud snap. Then he throws it far away from him. The book hits the grass, skidding over it slightly. Roman falls to his knees, shaking, crying. Virgil is dead. His friends are dead. He’s the only one still alive, trapped in a world where a mistake he made has warped the vision of who knows how many people. He brought back something that will take ages to bring down again, a frame of mind that some people are better than others. Roman caused this. It’s all his fault. He tries to stop, but he can’t. He has no one. No one is here to help him.  
  
He’s alone.  
  
Des isn’t sure what he should do. Roman told him not to touch him, but he needs to help him. He sounds so heartbroken. Des wishes he knew what to do. Morgan would know what to do. But Morgan isn’t here. Des kneels next to Roman. The man has fallen to his hands and knees. The rest of his body falls to the ground. Roman covers his head with his arms, shaking. Des cautiously shakes Roman’s shoulder, not wanting to scare him. Roman looks up at him, tears in his eyes and dripping down his face. Des holds his arms wide, offering a hug. Roman takes it. He wraps Des in a bear hug that almost surpasses Morgan’s. He shakes, crying. Des hugs him tight, patting his back like he’s seen Morgan do to others. Des presses a soft kiss to Roman’s cheek, the only way he knows how to tell Roman it’s okay.  
  
Roman stiffens slightly at the touch of lips against his cheek before realizing it’s Des trying to help him. That just makes him cry harder. A kiss. A piece of affection that’s been ruined for him by the Dragon Witch that this little kid who he’s known for less than two days has fixed. He’s really messed up, isn’t he? He holds Des close, shaking. He strokes the child’s blond curls. Patton likes to kiss people to make them feel better. Des is kinda like Patton. Roman misses Patton. Des pats Roman’s cheek. Roman looks down at him to see him smiling. Roman smiles back. “Sorry… I just…” Roman sighs. “I miss them… I’m never going to see them again…” Des kisses his nose. Roman taps his and Des giggles. “Come on, let’s get going. We need to get out of here.”  
  
Des picks up Roman’s palm and writes letters on it. Roman’s getting better at it, but he’s still pretty bad. He spells out the word under his breath. “Name… Do you want me to have your last name?” Des nods. “What is it?” Des draws letters and Roman can’t move. “Hart? That’s…” Patton. Roman swallows. “That’s a nice name. Let’s go.” Des stands up, pulling Roman up with him. Des lets go of Roman’s hand and goes over to grab the book. Roman freezes. “Des, I don’t want that book.” Des hugs the book to his chest and shakes his head. “Des, please.” Des comes over and shows Roman a note written on the inside of the front cover.  
  
  
To Des  
I know you like to learn about the history of our home, so I had Stephen help me pick out a book for you! I hope you can come home soon, I miss you.  
Love Morgan  
  
  
Roman recognizes that handwriting. It’s Patton’s. He swallows heavily. “Who’s Morgan? Is that your brother? Your sister?” Des moves his hand in a so-so way. “Sibling?” Des nods. “Ah. I’m sorry. I can’t throw away a gift from someone close to you.” Des nods and places the book back in the bag. Roman looks down at it and swallows. “Let’s get going, it’s dangerous standing out here in the open.” Des nods and they continue towards the nearest town.  
  


* * *

  
  
Roman looks down at the town. “We can’t go there,” he finally says to Des. “We can’t go there.” Des looks up at Roman, tipping his head, asking why. “It’s… I…” Roman can’t tell Des the real reason he doesn’t want to go down there. This is the place where he was born, this is this place he grew up. And it looks so different. Roman feels conflicting emotions. He wants to get as far from this place as possible but he also wants to know what has happened while he was gone. Des tugs on Roman’s sleeve and Roman sighs. “Okay, we can go.” Des grins and they go down to the town.  
  
It’s… Familiar. Everything looks so different, but the atmosphere has stayed the same. Roman’s tense muscles relax, a sigh escaping him. Des looks up at him and smiles. Roman smiles as well. Home. He’s home. He walks by a street and pauses. He looks down the street. Des looks out there as well, making a questioning noise. “Can… Can we go see something?” Des nods. “Thank you.” Roman walks down the street, counting the squares in the sidewalk. He stops at sixty-seven and looks up. It’s still here. His home is still here. Roman smiles slightly. Des looks up at the building then back at Roman. “It’s still here. I’m glad it’s still here. We can head back to the stores now.” Des nods and they walk back to the main street. Roman looks around. He’s a bit happier now. He’s home.  
  
The two walk around a bit, Roman buying them some things. Des doesn’t object, so Roman assumes it’s fine. The prices haven’t changed drastically which is a relief to Roman. He doesn’t want to reveal himself. After they buy a bunch of stuff, they go to the end of the village. Roman looks at the shirts he got. The sleeves are all too long. He doesn’t want to burn his clothes while controlling fire. He carefully cuts them off and puts the scraps in the satchel. Des watches him in confusion but shrugs it off. Roman is glad. Roman looks at Des. “Well, where are we going now? I don’t have anywhere to go and you just escaped from captivity.”  
  
Des taps his chin, thinking. He writes ‘HOME’ on Roman’s hand. “Home?” Roman repeats. “Oh, your home?” Des nods. “Where’s that?” Des pauses then shrugs. Roman rolls his eyes. “That’s not very helpful then, is it?” Des draws ‘NAME’ on Roman’s hand again. “Name? Of what?” ‘HOME’. Roman nods slightly. “You know the name of your home?” Des nods. “What is it?” Des draws the letters on Roman’s palm and Roman freezes. Des has a lot related to Patton. That’s where Patton’s home is. Was. “Okay. We can go there. I know how to get there from here. It’s a long walk, though. Do you think you can walk that far?” Des nods. “Alright, let’s get going.”  
  
The two head off, walking down the road to another place Roman hopes hasn’t changed too much. Des whistles as they walk, skipping slightly. Roman smiles. He has one person to help him, even if Des doesn’t know how to do it perfectly. That’s okay, though. He’s trying his best. Both of them are. Roman sighs, looking ahead. Patton’s home is a long way away, but Roman has walked farther. He’s not so sure about Des, but he can always find a way to help them get there faster.  
  
“Hey, hey you!” Roman stops and looks over. A person wearing sunglasses comes over, skidding to a stop next to him. “I’ve never seen you before. Who are you?”  
  
“I’m, uh, Roman Hart.” It’s weird using Patton’s last name. “Yeah.”  
  
“You don’t sound so sure.” The person looks at Roman strangely. “I also know every member of the Hart family, and I’ve never seen you before.”  
  
“Remy!” A person with bright pink hair walks over. He stops next to Remy. “Sorry, they don’t know how to deal with people.”  
  
“Untrue,” Remy states. “I know how to deal with people. Just not like normal people deal with people.”  
  
“I’m Emile,” the other says, introducing himself. “Who are you?”  
  
“He says he’s Roman Hart, but he doesn’t look like anyone from the Hart family.”  
  
“Des doesn’t look like anyone from the Hart family.”  
  
“Yeah but Des is ADOPTED.”  
  
Des looks up at the two and grins. The two gasp. Emile picks Des up. “Des! We’ve been so worried about you! We heard you got recaptured then you escaped. No other word was heard of you, we thought you were dead.” Des nods and points at Roman. “What? What did Roman do?” Des writes something in Emile’s hand. “He… He saved you?” Emile looks at Roman. “Thank you.”  
  
“No problem,” Roman says. “I wanted to help.”  
  
“Do you want us to help you?” Emile asks. “Where are you going?”  
  
Roman tells him. “It takes a while though,” Roman admits.  
  
“Do you want us to give you a ride?” Emile asks. “It wouldn’t be a problem.”  
  
Roman doesn’t know what to say, but Des nods vigorously. “I guess…” Roman admits. “How far can you get us?”  
  
Remy taps their chin with their straw then says, “Since Des is technically an escaped convict, we can’t really give you a ride. I think I can teleport you halfway there, but after that, you’d be on your own.”  
  
“I’ve been alone for longer,” Roman says. “What do you think, Des?” Emile sets Des down, who nods. “Alright. I suppose that’s what we’ll do.”  
  
Remy hands Emile their cup then takes Des’s and Roman’s hands. They close their eyes and the three teleport, swirling into a patch of color before vanishing. Remy deposits the two on a dirt road. “So long, don’t die.”  
  
“No promises,” Roman tells them. Remy smiles before teleporting away. Roman takes a deep breath and looks down the road. “Time to go, isn’t it?” Des nods. “The beginning of a new adventure.” Roman looks down at Des. “I’ve always loved going on adventures.” Des grins and nods. “Are you ready for your first adventure?” Des nods again. “Then let’s go.”


	4. Storytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Des wants Roman to tell him a bedtime story. Roman hesitantly agrees. Then he gets some weight off his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big warning today: Think of any kind of abuse and that's the abuse Roman got from his family. All of them. Emotional, mental, physical, intimate, all of them. You can't say I didn't warn you.  
> Edit: I now have Remus in here (sort of) because what kind of Roman angst wouldn’t have Remus in it? So Roman thinks it’s his fault Remus is dead. (It’s actually going to be more important later than you think. Thanks for giving me ideas, Thomas!)

Roman sits next to the fire, keeping an eye on Des. He doesn’t know how to take care of a kid. He’s never needed to take care of a kid. Des cuddles in his blanket, smiling slightly in his sleep. Roman sighs and looks up at the sky. He traces circles in the dirt around him. Could he have stopped this from happening? Probably not. From what he’s gathered, Des used to be a slave then was freed, being adopted by the Hart family. Then he was illegally captured again then escaped, also illegally. So Des is innocent and doesn’t deserve to be a convict. Roman hopes Virgil’s descendant could fix this, but he gets the feeling that if slavery exists again, the royal family won’t fix it. Besides, Roman’s an ex-knight who was banished then sealed in stone. Roman has glanced slightly in the history book a couple of times, learning a slight bit about why he was put in the stone. The Dragon Witch gave Roman most of the memories while he was asleep so she could torture him with what he did.  
  
Roman looks over at Des’s bag. The top of the history book peeks out of the opening. He could do it. He could read it. He could. There’s nothing to stop him.  
  
But it hurts just to look at the book. Roman can hardly believe all of them are dead. He sniffles again, taking a deep breath. “I deserve this, don’t I?” Roman mumbles to himself. He looks up at the sky. “After what I did, I can’t argue.”  
  
Des makes a slightly annoyed noise then opens his eyes groggily. He looks over at Roman, who has gone silent again, tending to the fire. Des scoots over to Roman, making a questioning noise. “Hi Des,” Roman says quietly. “Can’t sleep?” Des shakes his head. “Neither can I. I guess I still can’t get over the idea that my friends are dead.” Des frowns slightly. “What is it?”  
  
Des traces ‘FAMILY’ onto Roman’s palm. Roman tries to smile, but it just becomes a grimace. “Sure. I miss my family. I guess.”  
  
Roman does not miss his family. ~~(Except Remus but Remus is dead)~~. His family hated him and he hates them back. The youngest of twelve ~~excluding Remus~~ , the other eleven being born in the space of nine years and Roman ~~and Remus~~ five years after them. Roman ~~and Remus~~ left when ~~t~~ he ~~y~~ turned ten, walking almost one hundred miles to the capital city in about a week. He was exhausted afterward, but he made it. ~~Remus didn’t.~~ Luckily, Patton’s home is closer than the capital, so they won’t have to walk a week. But Roman’s not pushing Des to walk super fast. They’ll get there when they get there. They’ll probably get there late afternoon tomorrow, maybe early morning the day after. It’s not too far away.  
  
In any case, Roman hates his family.  
  
“Do you miss Morgan?” Des nods. “Yeah, I would assume so. They seem like a nice person.” They also seem a lot like Patton. Roman takes a shaky breath. Des tips his head. “Sorry, I just… I miss them, you know?”  
  
Des traces ‘STORY’ into Roman’s hand. “A story?” Roman repeats. “You want me to tell you a story?” Des nods. “About what?”  
  
‘FRIENDS’  
  
“Oh.” Roman clears his throat. “Okay, um, how about how I met, uh… Who do you want me to tell you about?”  
  
‘PRINCE’  
  
“Vir- Prince Hallows?” Roman says. Des frowns. Roman looks away from Des. “I don’t deserve to say his name, okay?” Des taps Roman’s cheek. “What?”  
  
Des pulls the bag around and rummages around inside. He gets out the journal and opens it to reveal it’s actually a response book. He flips to a page and points at ‘Why?’  
  
“You’ve had that the whole time?” Roman says. Des hunches his shoulders sheepishly. Roman sighs. “Look, I made a mistake. I went to fight someone who was far too powerful for me to beat. And I paid for it.” Roman shakes slightly, trying not to let more tears fall. “I wish I never went out there…” Des taps his cheek then gives Roman a soft kiss. Roman smiles slightly. “Thanks.” Des grins, happy to make Roman happy too.  
  
Roman sighs. “So a story? About the prince? How about the day I met him?” Des nods and snuggles into Roman. Roman takes a deep breath. “So the day I met Virgil…” Des doesn’t point out that Roman said Virgil, not wanting him to change.  
  


* * *

  
  
Roman walks into the capital, looking around. He has nowhere to stay, he’s pretty sure ten years old isn’t old enough to become a knight. Maybe he can join training? Yeah, he can probably do that. If he can figure out where he’s supposed to go. He looks around. Wow… There are so many people! He’s never seen this many people before. His home is small. Someone pushing a cart comes by and Roman looks up at it. There are apples and cookies and other kinds of food on it. Someone else walks past him with a few chickens following him. How interesting! Roman finds it all so exciting. ~~Remus would have loved this.~~ He skips forward, holding his pack close. Someone bumps into him and Roman stumbles forward, splashing into a fountain. He splutters, trying to get out. Someone else pushes by and he falls completely into the fountain. Roman sits up in the pool, under and behind the cascading water. To his surprise, someone else is in the fountain too. “Hello,” Roman says. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“I could ask you the same question,” he answers. He’s pale as can be, with striking black hair and violet eyes.  
  
“Someone pushed me in. Your turn.”  
  
The person smiles. “Pushy, aren’t you?”  
  
“I have twe- eleven siblings, I have a need to be pushy.”  
  
“I’m an only child.”  
  
“Ooh, what’s that like?” Roman shifts around. “All alone, no brothers or sisters to push you around?”  
  
“It’s nice, I guess. As for why I’m in the fountain, I’m hiding.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Well, I wanted to explore the city by myself, without anyone watching over me.”  
  
“This is my first time here,” Roman tells him. “I think it’s so cool! There are so many people! I’ve never seen so many people in my entire life!” ~~Remus would be ecstatic to see how many people are here.~~  
  
“I’ve never been outside the city.”  
  
“Can you show me around?” Roman asks. “My name’s Roman!”  
  
“I’m Virgil.”  
  
Roman stops. “Virgil… I dunno where I’ve heard that name, but I think it’s important!”  
  
Virgil smiles. “That’s okay. Do you want to get out of the fountain now?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m getting all of my stuff wet.” Roman climbs out and helps Virgil out as well. “I came here to be a knight! I’m probably too young right now, though.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Virgil says with a small smile. “We can always go see if you can.”  
  
Roman brightens. “Really?”  
  
“Yeah. I’m sure I can get someone to listen to me and get you to be a knight.”  
  
Roman laughs and gives Virgil a hug. “Thank you!”  
  
Virgil shies away from his touch. “Hey, no hugging unless we’re friends.”  
  
Roman lets go. “Are we friends?”  
  
Virgil smirks. “Maybe. We’ll have to see.”  
  
“I’ve never had a friend before,” Roman says. ~~Except Remus.~~ “I hope I can be yours.”  
  
“Well, let’s hang out a bit first.” Virgil takes Roman’s hand. “Let’s get exploring.” Roman grins and lets his new friend pull him along.  
  


* * *

  
  
Roman brushes his fingers through Des’s hair. “He was my first friend. I wasn’t lying when I told him that. I don’t think he ever believed me, though. I don’t think any of them believed me when I told them I never had friends before. But I didn’t have any friends before them. My older siblings were a bit… Mean to everyone and therefore everyone thought I was going to be the same. So I never had anyone. Everyone was far too busy ignoring me.” Ignoring him and downright throwing him out at times. He had a hard time at school. “Falling into that fountain with Virgil was the beginning of my life. Nothing before that counted.” Sure, the abusive and neglective parts of that family still impact Roman’s life, but he’s fine. Perfectly fine. Yeah, being the cause of his twin brother’s death sucks and sure, he has a very negative self image and very poor self esteem, but he’s never let anyone else know, so does it count? He doesn’t think so.  
  
Des snuggles into Roman’s chest, breathing even and smooth. He fell asleep. But Roman keeps talking, knowing that, even though Des is asleep, he can throw his problems at someone else. “So you’re asleep, so I can go out and just vent to you, right? I’m allowed to do that? Doesn’t matter, I’m going to do it anyway.”  
  
Roman looks up at the sky. “So I don’t miss my family in the slightest.” ~~Except Remus but Remus is dead because Roman couldn’t protect him.~~ “In fact, I hated them and they hated me. If anything, they were probably disappointed that Virgil didn’t kill me. No more Roman to bring shame to the family name. In fact, if one of my older brothers had woken me up only to kill me, it’s not something I’d put past them. It’s something they’d do. Like, if this is another ending from the Dragon Witch and I’m woken up and the last thing I see is Mateo before he stabs me in the stomach and leaves me there to bleed to death… Well, I’d be lying if I say I haven’t thought of that possibility.” Roman stops brushing his fingers through Des’s hair, the other arm wrapped securely around the child. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s done to me.” Roman drops his hand slightly to rub his thigh, the upper part and on the inside. “Not the worst thing that’s happened to me.”  
  
Roman looks over at the history book then over to the fire. “...Not the worst thing, not in all my fights with monsters throughout my knighthood. No, most of the worst things that happened to me happened back at the house I loved with the family I hated. Neglected by my parents. Abused emotionally, mentally, and physically by my siblings. And…” Roman shudders. It’s hard enough to think about it, but saying it out loud is something he needs to do. “...You know in school when they tell you about the different kinds of abuse and stuff? And they’ve got rape in there? Yeah.” Roman takes a deep and shaky breath. “I was seven when it started. I ran away at ten. And… To be perfectly honest, for about a year, I was afraid if I messed up while training, they’d do the same. It was Maria’s favorite punishment. To be fair, most of them did at some point. Mateo preferred treating me like a punching bag. All of them liked telling me I wasn’t good enough. I ate too much. I was too loud. I was annoying. I don’t know what else. I just…” He sighs and looks up at the sky. “...Abuse isn’t something anyone should go through. I was treated like a slave myself, why would I want slavery back? I was treated horribly and was never given what I needed to survive. Pushed into my tiny room under the stairs with spiders that could’ve killed me. I don’t like to admit it, but I had to steal from stands at the market to survive. Clothes, food, sometimes even water. I never had much. It was hard enough for me to learn in school.” ~~Remus always had a harder time than he did.~~  
  
Roman strokes Des’s hair again. “I know you’re still asleep, but when I say I want to go home, I’m not talking about the place I was born. When I say I miss my family, I’m not talking about the people who I was born to. My home is the capital and my family is my friends. The people who loved me and who I love. I miss them, I miss the happiness I got from just sitting in the same room with them. I miss Patton. I miss his smile, his puns, his never ending joy. I miss the hugs he’d give us when we were sad. I miss how he could make me forget my abusive family members. He was always there for us, for me. Once his glasses were all smudged up with fingerprints and Logan told him to wipe them off and then he didn’t and Logan got really frustrated with him. That was hilarious.”  
  
Roman sighs, fighting back tears. “I miss Logan. I miss his obliviousness, his unfathomable knowledge, his out of date way of speech, his stupid necktie. I miss the small smiles he denied giving. Gosh, sometimes I just wanted to grab his tie and yank him towards me and tell him he was an idiot for thinking he had no emotions then hug him. It would’ve been so easy. It was always right there in reach. He’d rub his glasses on it to clean them. He was a genius, sure, but sometimes he was so freaking stupid.”  
  
Roman sniffles, wiping his tears away. “I miss Virgil. I miss him the most. My very first friend, the first person who actually treated me like a person and not like a burden. I miss how that feeling helped me get over the things my family had programmed into me. I miss his smile, too. I miss the stupid eyeshadow he’d wear under his eyes to seem more emo. But let’s face it, he was really doing it to hide from Patton that he wasn’t sleeping very well.” Roman rubs under his eyes, not for tears. “I wish I had that eyeshadow. I’m not going to sleep very well, not after the Dragon Witch brought back those memories.” He sighs. “I miss Virgil’s deadpan humor, the humor I’d bounce back. Patton was very worried about the two of us. But I don’t think either of them actually thought I meant the things I said. I did. I related to Virgil’s fatalistic humor more than anyone thought. I miss the stupid game I did with him about what I would do if I was the prince.” Roman strokes Des’s hair, glancing at the history book. “...I wonder if he kept the jacket I made for him.”  
  
Roman buries his head in Des’s curly hair, careful not to wake him up. “Oh, let’s face it, he probably didn’t. He probably got rid of it before he sealed me.” Roman sets his chin on Des’s head. “You know, I thought he was going to kill me when the stone started to rise around me. I hadn’t been in control for a long time. I hadn’t even been able to see what was going on around me. But that… That’s a story for another time. I’ve already shared enough of my past for tonight. I’m going to try to get some sleep.” He pats Des’s hair. “Goodnight, Des.”  
  
Roman moves around to lie down and falls asleep. He holds Des close like a safety blanket, a stuffed animal, something keeping him from going crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Snaps to finger guns* Nonstop angst  
> On the other hand, Virgil was a very supportive first friend.


End file.
